What do you stand for?  What would you die for?  You see, in our comfortable society, we become complacent.  We stop living to our fullest potential.  We often take the easy way out.  We forget to test ourselves, stretch ourselves beyond what we think we are capable of.  We then become bored and wonder why life holds no enjoyment or joy for us.

Be passionate about what you stand for.  Stretch and challenge yourself beyond your comfort zone.  Nothing great has been accomplished when we are satisfied and comfortable.  We humans are capable of so much more than we even know. 

Katniss put her life on the line for family, friends and love.  Was she frightened? Yes!!  However she didn’t have the luxury of entertaining her fear.  She needed to act quickly to survive.  We must quiet the voice of fear when we are up to something BIG!  Don’t expect to participate in the adventure which is your life and be comfortable.  Do it scared!  We make the mistake of living our life as if we will live forever; continually putting off our dreams for smaller, less satisfying things.  Live as though you are going to die.  Tap into your “Katniss” energy and watch your world expand beyond what you ever imagined, “And may the odds ever be in your favor!”

On the Today Show this morning, Anne Curry asked Trayvon Martin’s mother what she would ask Mr. Zimmerman and what she would like to hear from Zimmerman at this point.  I was surprised to hear her state that she wanted an apology.  She wanted Zimmerman to admit he made a mistake, things “got out of hand” and he was sorry.

I don’t know how you reconcile the death of a son or daughter.  But it amazed me that this woman had hinted at Forgiveness in the early stages of her grieving.  It is moments like this that make me drop to my knees in gratitude for the people I have in my life.  It also makes me realize how trivial some of my resentments can be, in light of this tragedy.

If we choose not to forgive, our brain remains active with resentment.  I mean this very literally.  The brain is preoccupied with processing and holding the resentment, memories, replaying them which blocks receptors in the brain from receiving new information.  Therefore we are unable to be open-open to change and growth.  Is there someone or some situation that needs your attention in regard to forgiveness?  If so, be courageous and turn your energy toward taking steps of forgiveness.  It will lighten you load, free up your energy and open your heart to the abundance that is awaiting you.

1)      Giving the addicted person money- The addict will beg and plead for money.  They may give you multiple reasons why they need it-rent, food, doctor bills, on and on.  If you don’t give in immediately they may revert to tactics such as attempting to illicit pity or become extremely angry.  Do not give them money.  It will only be used for their addiction, next drink or fix.  Offer to pay their rent directly or take them to the grocery store (although this can be a form of enabling as well).

2)      You lower your standards and household rules-In an effort to “keep the peace”, you find yourself putting up with things which go against your own moral code.  This may be allowing the underage alcoholic to drink in your home or letting the addict use drugs in your home.  You may rationalize the behavior by assuring yourself that you at least know where they are and that they are safe.

3)      Taking on more responsibility-You may find yourself taking on more responsibilities at home or at work to cover for the addict or to relieve the stress off of the addict.  If you find yourself doing so and feeling anger or resentment about it, there is a good likelihood that you are enabling.

4)      You turn a blind eye-No one discusses the addict’s behavior, as to do so would be disruptive to the household, you rationalize.  This just perpetuates the behavior.  The household may need to be disrupted in the short-term for the long-term gain of possible treatment and sobriety.

5)      You find yourself walking on eggshells-You are unsure how the addict will react at any given moment so you find yourself attempting to gauge your speech and emotions to placate or please the addicted person.

6)      You continue to bail the addict out of their predicament-Whether it’s jail, detention, or smoothing over an altercation, you come to the addicts rescue, never allowing them to pay the consequences for their actions.

These are just a few ways we enable the ones we love and care for.  If you see yourself in any of these scenarios, take heart.  We all have done it at one time or another if we have had to deal with addiction.  The good news is you can stop today.  You can find the hope and strength you need to say no, to claim back your self-respect and to stop the chaos and pain.  One small sweet step or change from you is what the addict really needs.

For more information on addiction contact Summit Care and Wellness today at (402) 435-2273.

In treating clients with addiction I find “the enemy” hides beneath such things as self-hatred and loathing, unresolved trauma and grief, unbearable loneliness.

Often times people look at the addict as someone who is uncaring and unfeeling, for how could they possibly do this to themselves or us.  Us being the ones who must witness the destruction in their lives.  But the opposite is true.  People who suffer from addiction feel deeply.  They are often hyper-sensitive.  The drugs have become a way to deal with the overwhelming emotions they simply cannot deal with.

Ms. Houston may have been one such individual; succumbing to the seduction of drugs, the quick fix, which then, as is the case, takes on a life of its own (or so it seems) as it captures the mind, body and soul of loved ones.  Once it claims ground in the physiological and psychic parts of the addicted person , the choice to abstain becomes that much more difficult.

Whitney Houston’s friends, family and fame could not protect her.  The road to recovery is an inside job.  Those on the outside can take a stand and refuse to collude with the addict.  Often times we enable the addict which only perpetuates the cycle.

Whitney Houston is gone.  We cannot bring her back but we can help others. Do you have someone in your life suffering from addiction?  Be courageous and speak the truth.  Stand for what you stand for!  Don’t back down, put up with, or otherwise enable the loved one with the addiction.  This is the greatest, most courageous thing you can do for yourself and for the addicted person in your life.

Check back to read my blog on enabling!

Be well!

In my quest to continually grow and learn, I have a daily practice which allows me to be present to my life and the here and now.  Every morning I call forth five qualities of being which allow me to decide how I will enter the world.  I have an entire list, but the ones I rely on often are: Grateful, Creative, Compassionate, Truthful and Empowering.

This fast paced world demands a great deal from us.  Will you choose to fly through your days in endless activity or will you choose to be present to what is before you, here and now?  So many people I come into contact with experience anxiety over their lives and current situations.  However, upon closer inspection, rarely is the anxiety about the here and now.  We drag our past and the unknown future into today.  The past weighs us down.  The future hasn’t even happened but we sure make-up drama and stories about what may or may not happen.  Sound familiar? Think about it.

Next time you are feeling anxious, ask yourself-how much of this is really about today?  Focusing on the past or future can be debilitating, disempowering and often leaves you drained.  Staying in the present allows you to focus your energy on the things you can do today to improve your circumstances, make important decisions and live fully.

Make the decision today to be present to your life.  Call forth your qualities of being which exist within you.  Live consciously!

Join me over the next several weeks as we continue to explore the quality of being and how to be present to your life.

Be well my friends!

“You know how it starts: the New Year’s Resolutions tango.  At first you’re excited, maybe even upbeat, about the dance of life. This year it’s going to be different. You really will exercise more, eat better, keep track of your spending, maybe even create a money goal. After three or four weeks the music starts to slow. Then it stops. You lose track of time. Old habits creep in. By March the words “New Year’s Resolution” send you running toward the nearest exit.

Wait! This year, 2012, doesn’t have to turn out like that!  It really is possible to transform your life so that you dance all the year
through. It has to do with shifting the focus of your attention from your Resolutions to your Life’s Intentions.

First, consider the word “resolution.” It means having firmness of mind and determination. Sounds difficult? It’s like clenching up when you’re about to take one of those tango “dips.”  On the other hand, consider focusing on your Life’s Intentions” (Maria Nemeth, 2011).

Now check in on your energy. Is it spacious?  Is there possibility in turning your focus toward that which has meaning?  Yes, yes, yes!  Begin the New Year with clarity, focus, ease and grace.  Make a commitment that this really is the year you live your dream, reach that goal and move forward with the energy of empowerment!  A coach can help you do just that!

How is your energy at the end of the day?  This is a good indicator of whether you are living out your passion and purpose or just going through the motions, on an endless treadmill of doing, doing, doing with no real satisfaction.  Are you ready to get off the treadmill and start living with intention?  A coach can help you identify your passion and purpose.  A coach can partner with you to create a fulfilling and satisfying life.  A coach can bring out the best in you and help you achieve your goals.  Maybe it’s time to let someone support you in your dreams.  A Summit Life Coach can help you live your best life!